It's so busted
by Sesshomaru's mistress
Summary: A broken heart can only hold the love for so long. What's a girl to do when she's waited for something so long and finally gives up on ever having it? After a couple of songs, a bottle, and a friend. .. .well lets just see. . .


_**Here is the Sequel to Love and Loss, which only had 5 reviews! I hope you all enjoy!**_

_**Oh and I do not own the songs below the first is Jolene by dolly and the second is my give a damn's busted by but I forget who by but I DO NOT OWN THEM!

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**Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene . . . . I'm begging of you please don't take my man.**

**Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene . . . . Please don't take him just because you can . . . .**

**Your beauty is beyond compare with flaming locks of auburn hair**

**Irish skin and eyes of Emerald green**

**Your smile is like a breath of spring, your voice is soft like summer rain and I cannot compete with you Jolene.**

**He talks about you in his sleep and there's nothing I can do to keep from crying when he calls your name, Jolene.**

**And I can easily understand how you can easily take my man but you don't know what he means to me, Jolene.**

**Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene . . . . I'm begging of you please don't take my man . . .**

**Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene . . . .. Please don't take him just because you can . . **

**You can have your choice of me but I could never love again . . . He's the only one for me Jolene. . . .**

**Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene . . . . I'm begging of you please don't take my man . . .**

**Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene . . . .. Please don't take him even though you can. . . **

**Jolene . .. ..Jolene**

This is the song Serena had found herself singing at night that is until tonight . .. . .

"I'm ready!" Serena said as she stood over the bridge with a folded piece of paper and a red rose in her hand.

"Are you sure?" her best friend Mina asked.

Nodding slightly Serena opened the piece of paper and read over the note that would never reach the intended person.

Note

'It's been over a year now and I still can't get you off my mind. Every now and then I see something that reminds me of you or of the many memories we made. It disgusts me so to know that you will never feel the same about me but I still hold this fleeting hope that you will. I know my hope will never become anything more but for some reason I just can't forget you. I hate myself for it! Why must I still think of your smile . . . your kiss . . . your laugh? Why am I tormented daily with no end? I feel like your watching me and laughing at my nativity; it makes me cry. I know I should give up but the memories of you and me still have a strong hold over my heart.

Just last month I looked in the paper and saw the announcement of your engagement. Back then before that I thought I was over you but the happy look on your face tour my heart apart. How could you do something like this to me? What did I do to deserve this? I heard the rumors of the engagement but I shook them off thinking they were nothing but rumors. I was wrong!

I laugh at myself and mock myself now and then. I get angry and curse myself for my feelings. I think to myself, how could you be so stupid? I was so blind by my love for you then, when we were together, that I didn't notice the look SHE gave you?

I'll admit I did sense jealously from her and recognized the crude remarks she threw toward me; however, I never thought it was over you.

What surprised me more was whom you were marrying. HER! When I found out I cried myself to sleep for several days. How could I believe the lie you fed to me? Age difference? That was your excuse, the reason for our break-up!

First you robbed the cradle and now you rob the nursing home.

I use to think to myself and wonder what was the big deal about three-in-a half years? Now I see it wasn't enough! You wanted thirteen years difference.

My parents try to support me but it doesn't work. They tell me I need to get over you because I could never be the mother that you wanted. You didn't want a girl friend, no, you wanted a mother.

I have turned sixteen and you nineteen. Nineteen and married to a thirty-three year old. Wow!

I hope you live a happy life with her and I wish you many happy years. I will admit I am jealous but not because she has you . . . because you will be loved by her and you will love her; or so I hope.

My parents tell me you are just marrying her so that you wont have to work. She has a big time job and you work part-time for your father's lowly job. At least you work when you want to. My parents say your just going to use her for her money. You'll go through college and do what you want to. She won't say a word because she thinks she's lucky she has you and she's lucky because you choose her over every other woman. I pray it's not true and my heart yearns for it to be a lie. I don't think you would do that but then again you did a lot of things I thought you wouldn't.

I hear people make fun of her because she is over weight, short, with short black hair. I will admit I did to at first because I was mad at you but I had no right to do what I did. I didn't say anything bad or start/spread a rumor but I did say some bad things about her appearance. I apologize for it. . . it was out of anger. I shouldn't have done it. Most people think I'm not all that great . . . mainly my weird meatball hairstyle, pale complexion, and my horrid attitude as of late are the reasons.

The picture that came with the announcement of the engagement was a great picture. You both looked happy but your smile gave away something else. You couldn't deny it! I know you inside and out no matter how much you think not! It amazes me that I learned so much about you in our two months of dating and yet you couldn't figure out anything about me; it amazes me!

I have to say she has a beautiful smile and a lively spark in her eyes. You are lucky to have her! I wish you much joy! Well I guess its time I forget about the past and move on to the future! If you want to know I have found a new guy I like. He is tall, handsome, smart, kind, sweet, and oh you get the idea. He makes me laugh, blush, smile, and happy. I hope one day I'll gather up the guts to tell him how I feel.

I don't think I ever will because he acts so clownish around me that I can't get the words out because I'm laughing so much. He has this ridiculous nickname for me that drives me nuts and of course its . . . . dumpling head. Almost as bad as meatball head but yet I find myself fond of the name.

I hope that both our lives will find happiness. I will always hold a special place in my heart for you my Tuxedo Mask but I have to let go some time or other. That time is now!'

Serena

End NOTE

Serena smiled to herself as she let a lone tear fall down her cheek as she slipped the letter into a bottle, "I'll miss you!"

Mina's eyes held sadness in them for her friend. The hardships she had watched Serena face amazed her. She didn't see how Serena survived. Actually she almost gave into the darkness but Mina had stopped her. Serena was at one point so saddened that she went suicidal but thankfully she never did anything rash. Once Serena cut her arm as a reminder of the pain she was causing her friends and family but after that there was nothing. There was only a lone scar on her left arm to remind her that she would forget the past.

"I'll wait by the car!" Mina said as she left to give her friend privacy.

The only thing that was witness to this event was the moon. No stars were out to dance joyously around the moon. It was just Serena and the moon.

Serena lifted the rose to her lips and kissed it lightly. One red rose to represent the person of whom she was forgetting. More tears fell down her face as she slipped the rose into its place inside the bottle with the rose and closed the lid on the bottle.

Looking up at the moon she silently prayed her mother, Queen Serenity, would help her through the future.

Tears spilled down her face as she took one final flashback of him and their memories, both good and bad, together.

"Good bye!" Serena said as she dropped bottle with the letter and rose in it over the bridge and let it fall into the rushing river to be carried to whoever was destined to find it.

Suddenly Serena began to sing a song that she thought fitter her situation,

:Two weeks later:

And here is a new smash hit by a local girl and its called my, "My Give a Damn's busted!" (Once again not my song didn't come up w/ it and don't own it!I did forget the country girls name who did and I don't have her CD handy to give her credit but she did great job!) came the DJ's voice from the speaker of Serena's car. "It was recorded from her live show three months ago right here in our City!" were the last words heard by the DJ as the song started up. . .

"_This goes out to a girl with an aching heart who wrote a letter with a rose attached, put it in a bottle and set it adrift. Serena, I found it and it inspired me to write this!" came the singers reply and suddenly there was music and loud cheering sounds._

**Well you filled up my head with so many lies, twisted my heart 'till something snapped inside. . . I'd like to give it one more try but my give a damn's busted . . .**

**You can crawl back home, say you were wrong, stand out in the yard and cry all night long . . . go ahead and water the lawn . . my give a damn's busted . . .**

**I really wanna care**

**I wanna feel something let me dig a little deeper . . . **

**nah sorry nothin'**

**You can say you got issues, you can say you're a victum . . . its all your parents fault . .i mean after all you didn't pick 'um . . maybe somebody else has got time to listen . . my give a damn's busted **

**Well your therapist said it was all a mistake, a product of the prozac and your co-dependent ways. . . so who's your nabeler these days. . .my give a damn's busted. . . **

**I really wanna care**

**I wann feel something**

**Let me dig a little deeper . . .**

**Nah. . still nothing. . . **

**It's a desperate situation, no telling what you'll do, you say if I don't forget you, you say your life is through . .come on give me something I can use. . my give a damns busted. . **

**I really wanna care**

**I wanna feel something**

**Let me dig a little deeper. .**

**Nah man sry. . . Just nothing. .**

**no . . . **

**You've really done it this time. . . **

**My give a damn's busted . . .**

Serena was flabbergasted to say the least but soon she recovered and she let a small smile cross her face, 'Thank you!'

Tuxedo Mask a.k.a Darien Shields, spit up his coffee as he heard the song play over the speakers of his brand new car.

Being too surprised from hearing what he heard on the radio he didn't notice the now messed up leather of his car and the burning sensation in a lower areafrom where the coffee spilt on him . . . that is 'till. .

"DAMN IT THAT HURTS!"

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**I thought that was a interesting place to stop! Did you like it? Hope you did! Well Read and review and let me know how you liked/loved it!**

**Love**

**Christina **

**Sesshomaru's Mistress**

**Moonbeam21**

**Byes.**


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